I Wrote This At 4am Sick With Covid -

In these hours, the internet becomes a lifeline and a curse. You find yourself scrolling through forums, reading logs of other people who typed similar phrases into search engines out of sheer desperation for solidarity. What Happens to Your Body in the Dark?

My hair is plastered to my forehead with a cold sweat that smells strangely like ammonia. My throat feels like I swallowed a cheese grater. And the digital clock on my nightstand is glowing that violent red that sears into your retina. Outside, the world is silent. Inside, my sinuses are a construction zone.

You are just a fragile animal in the dark, trying to breathe. i wrote this at 4am sick with covid

Not normal thoughts. Fever thoughts.

By 4:00 AM, the distraction fails. The fever breaks through the Tylenol dam. This is when the thoughts start. In these hours, the internet becomes a lifeline and a curse

If you are currently managing symptoms, let me know you have been sick or which symptoms are bothering you the most. I can provide evidence-based comfort measures or help you track when it might be time to call a doctor. Share public link

My tea has gone cold. The cat has finally woken up and is demanding food, which means I have to stand up. Standing up feels like running a marathon. But I do it anyway. My hair is plastered to my forehead with

I drank a glass of water at 4:10 AM. It was cold. It traveled down my shredded esophagus like a miracle. I almost cried. Water is the greatest substance on earth, and we ignore it 99% of the time.

I have watched the same episode of The Great British Bake Off three times in a row because I keep passing out and missing the ending. I have smelled my own candle collection trying to see if I still have a sense of smell (I don't. Lavender now smells like sad air). I have had a text conversation with my mother that consisted entirely of the "skull" emoji.

Because the writer assumes everyone else is asleep, the writing possesses a diary-like intimacy. People confessed their deepest fears about mortality, the stagnation of their careers, the fractures in their relationships, or profound gratitude for things they usually took for granted.

And if you are reading this because you searched for "4 am covid insomnia" on your phone under the covers, terrified and exhausted: Put the phone down. Drink some water. Take your medicine. The sun will come up eventually. You are going to be okay.